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2006-04-03 - 1:06 a.m. and i said to myself, "self, you are twenty fucking two years old and you are already falling the fuck apart, what are you going to do?" and all of a sudden i missed daniel. i missed daniel the way i missed katie. i missed daniel the way i missed winnie. i missed daniel the way i missed krissy. and i started to doubt every fucking thing ive ever felt for everyone ive ever been involved with. i wanted to call him but i couldnt because i dont have his new york number. and then he turned up online right then but i didnt want to message him. and he messaged me. and we talked. just a little bit. it was awkward. too awkward for best friends. but then, we're not really best friends if he kicked me out, that's not what best friends do. he told me to get it together, suck it up and get on with life. i didnt tell him im hurt because i had this fear he would tell me to just deal with it. like when mom threw out all my pills and said i just have to learn to deal with it. i asked him if he found a woman yet. he said no.
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