2005-05-08 - 3:49 a.m.

listening to hotel california. "some drink to remember, some drink to forget"
i drink all the freakin time.
i am filled with a general disinterest at the moment. sorry about that.
tomorrow is mothers day. i sent my mom floweres. she says she is going to give me a car. she's been saying that for a while. we'll see if it ever happens...
its almost four am. i cant sleep, and im lonely. and i feel really pathetic for feeling lonely. i cant help but feel like id be able to sleep just fine if i were sleeping next to winnie. isnt that awful? i just dont want to be alone. jay's sleeping, and daniel is still out. and even if he were here, id feel like i was bugging him or something. ive suddenly become aware of how much older than me he is. and how much he puts up with from me. its almost like im his girlfriend, but im not. of course im not. maybe i just need to get out of this twisted little house.
but then i would be alone, wouldnt i?

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